26 January 2015

You have those days where:

You're on a high. You're so positive and so hopeful that something good will definitely come your way. Just keep that hope up. Anything is possible and you love yourself enough to believe you can do it. You feel blessed and love for everything that you own and possess in your life. So you will continue to keep trying and be that hopeful beansprout.

Then there's those other days where it's just bleh. That glowing and hopeful light begins to diminish. You think of yourself as a stupid, pathetic failure that just can't get anywhere. A reject.

It sucks. I've been job searching, applying but nothing has popped up to give me an opportunity and its really killing my self-esteem. I don't mean to be picky with my jobs but am I not good enough for the places that I want to work? The places that I am willing to try to be the best that I can be? I want to learn and grow, be given that opportunity.

Unfortunately, I just feel like I am not good enough and never going to be.

I feel like a major failure. Fallen out of luck, well to be honest I was never a lucky person to begin with, despite how I am trying my best to be as positive as I can be. I do dwell on it. I do get upset, very upset. But I can't do anything but pick myself up and keep trying.

It's just very hard at times where your self-esteem has probably dropped so low that I feel like I am pathetic and hopeless. I am a reject. My self-worth and self-value is just breaking apart.

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