15 April 2012

Life as we know it

Hey guys, what's up?

I've been thinking about this for a while now...I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 4 years now and recently my mother has been pushing me in terms of marriage and having a child, well actually it's one or the other. I honestly don't know how to respond to that because I am still quite young. Though many of my friends have already given birth to a child at a younger age, I don't feel that I am almost ready. I love children with a big heart. I adore them so much that I barely pay attention to anyone when they talk to me, that's how much I love children LOL

Whenever I tell my mum that I have plans to go to overseas to Japan or overseas in general, she scolds me. Yes, literally scolds me and tells me I need to stop spending feverishly and start really thinking about my future. I need to buy a house, I need to get married and I need to have children before she gets too old and won't be able to see all of that.

With all of my heart, I would love to be pregnant and bear a grandchild for her. I remember talking to Bach about it early on in our relationship and I was brought to tears because I just wanted to see my mother happy. I believe that once my mother has a grandchild her job as my mother is complete. I feel sad because all of her friends have grandchildren and she is trying so hard to patiently wait for it, but the wait will be a lot longer. But there are a few certain reasons that hold me back.

1. I would not want to have a child before my brother and his wife. They have been trying but not succeeded since their first miscarriage and there's some health issues so it's difficult for my sister-in-law to conceive. But they really do want a child and I would feel hurt or upset if I were to ever fall pregnant and have a child before them, they deserve it more.

2. My mother has actually been bothering me since I started dating Bach, hinting that "It's good to have a child when you're young because they turn out smart" LOL well that's her theory. Every year, she would constantly nag me but I want to be able to travel a lot more before settling down properly with a family.

3. Bach and I of course have conversations about our future. But he is certain that he doesn't want us to bring a child into this world if we aren't financially stable. That's true. I don't want to struggle and always rely on my parents. He's also worried at the fact the his parents will looking down on him.

4. I want a house. It's simple. Right now I am freeloading off my parents (only because I don't have permission to move out LOL my mum's attached to me). but because I don't pay any kind of rent, as my parents refuse to take any money from me, they want me to save up hard and buy a house. Hence, I always get in trouble from wanting to travel. That's where most of my money goes.

5. I have a few more destinations I want to travel to in the future. I must return to Japan, Korea, USA and Cambodia. But I also want the chance to travel to other places in Asia like Hong Kong, Vietnam and maybe go to Paris to visit my cousin as well!

Well, that seems to be the constant issue surrounding my life right now. I'm not even sure, the thought of getting married and having a child, our future together, really gets me excited. Like I said earlier, I love children and I am curious to know what they will look like. But also, I don't want to rush into something like this. I feel bad because I tend to nag Bach, asking when we plan to get engage, married and have children. Well, isn't it every girls' dream to be happily married and have children?

It's so cute though, Bach said that we hope to have our first child when I'm 26 and I can stay home and look after it. So sweet because he would like me to be the housewife! ...too bad my cleaning and cooking habits are very...well rusty isn't the right word, I was just never that great at any of those LOL

My ideal age is to get married at 25 and have my first child at 26. What's your ideal marriage age and when do you want your first child?

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